Short piper jokes from the website of Wellington Scottish Pipes and Drums:

Q: What's the difference between a dead piper in the middle of the road and a dead accordion player?
A: The accordion player was on his way to a gig.

Q: How many pipers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only two, but even if they could get in there you would still have to find a female piper.

Q: What do a bagpipe solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A: You know its imminent, but you can't stop it.

Q: What's the least used sentence in the English language?
A: "Is that the bagpiper's Porsche?"

Q: What do the bagpipes and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

A piper and a bass drummer were walking in a park. The piper saw a dead bird and said to the bass drummer, "Look, a dead bird." The bass drummer looked up and asked, "Where?"
 

Source: One of the two Wellington newspapers sometime in 2000

I like this picture.  I think it looks like Lake Wairarapa is dribbling white water into Cook Strait.

Here's an even more distant picture which I think aptly illustrates effects of land body "pollution" (with or without man) on ocean bodies (note the lighter swirls in water near land extending outward for several kilometres):

Source: space.com

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