If women want any rights more than they's got, why don't they just take them, and not be talking about it?

- Sojourner Truth
 

There are two kinds of women, those who want power in the world and those who want power in bed.

- Jacqueline Kennedy
 

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.  The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness.  So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.  Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.  Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.  He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester.  In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer.  The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.  The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch.  She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: the old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises...  He had never run across such a repugnant creature.  He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.  Sir Lancelot, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.  He told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.  Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question:

What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.  And so it went.  The neighbouring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.

What a wedding Lancelot and the witch had!  Arthur was torn between relief and anguish.  Lancelot was proper as always, gentle and courteous.  The old witch put her worst manners on display.  She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable.

The wedding night approached: Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom.  What a sight awaited!  The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him!  Lancelot was astounded and asked what had happened.  The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.  Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night?

What a cruel question!  Lancelot began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friend, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch?  Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do?

What Lancelot chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.

Noble Lancelot replied that he would let her choose for herself!  Upon hearing this, the lady announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?

THE MORAL IS – THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOUR WOMAN IS PRETTY OR UGLY, UNDERNEATH IT ALL, SHE'S STILL A WITCH!

This is a 641kb .mp3 file about a very enlightening phone call...

Trust

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

- Dorothy Parker

For articles on affair motivators, changing relationships, do-it-yourself psychotherapy, lies, insincerity, social graces, cosmetic surgery, roots of culture, self-deception, love, and reunions of lost relatives click the "Up" button below to take you to the Index page for this Relationships section.