Odds Are you'll Die Like This...
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
- Dave Barry
It is the cause, not the death, that makes the martyr.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
by Matt Roper
Death may be the only certainty in life - but how it comes about is anything but certain. Papers released from secret government archives this week
revealed that in 1980 government scientists were told to calculate the exact chances of a Brit being killed by a falling asteroid. The study was an
attempt to persuade the public that nuclear power was safe, and that there were plenty of other things that were statistically more lethal than a neighbourhood
reactor. After much consideration, the men in white coats calculated that that one member of the public would be killed by an asteroid every 7,000 years.
Here are other causes of death - and just what the odds are of dying in that way.
 | 300,000,000/1 Shark Attack - Around 40 people are killed every year from shark attacks, with the numbers increasing as more people take
holidays on coasts where sharks live. |
| 300,000,000/1 Fairground Accident - The worst rollercoaster accident in Britain was in 1972 when 5 children were killed on the Big Dipper in Battersea, London, when one of
the cars broke loose and collided with another. Just last week 29 people were injured when the Runaway Mine Train at Alton Towers split in two. |
| 250,000,000/1 Falling Coconut - Coconuts apparently kill around 150 people every year. Falling from a height of 80 feet, they can build up an impact speed of 50 mph. |
| 11,000,000/1 Plane Crash - Plane crashes worldwide claim 1,300 people every year. Young men are most likely to emerge from the wreckage alive - and 12% of passengers
who survive the impact will die from shock later. |
| 10,000,000/1 Killed by Lightning - In the UK around 5 people are killed by being hit by lightning every year. And men are 4 times more likely to be struck than women. |
| 10,000,000/1 Killed by the Escape of Radiation from a Nearby Nuclear Power Station - The chances of an explosion at a nuclear reactor are increasing with the risk of
terrorism and as conventional fuels run out. The Chernobyl nuclear disaster and its aftermath has killed an estimated 30,000 people. |
| 9,300,000/1 Dying in Terrorist Attack - Last year there were 651 significant international terrorist attacks worldwide, killing nearly 2,000 people. |
| 5,000,000/1 Scalded by Hot Tap Water - Children under 5 are most at risk, with 126 accidents reported every year in Britain. In Japan, around 150 people die from hot
water scalding every year. |
| 4,400,000/1 Left-Handed People Killed Using a Right-Handed Product - More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed every year around the world from using equipment meant for
right-handed people. The right-handed power saw is the most deadly item. |
| 3,500,000/1 Dying of a Snake Bite - Snake bites kill an estimated 25,000 people a year. More people die from snakebite in India than in any other country in the world,
with the total death toll estimated I to average 10 - 12,000 annually. |
| 3,000,000/1 Dying from Food Poisoning - More than 79,000 cases of food poisoning were reported last year in the UK, while every year around 200 people die as a result of
eating contaminated food. |
| 2,300,000/1 Dying from Falling off a Ladder - On average 15 people die from falling off ladders every year in Britain, and around 1,200 suffer serious injuries. A
quarter of all falls happen off ladders. |
| 2,000,000/1 Dying after Falling out of Bed - In Britain around 20 people die from falling out of bed every year, with the young and the elderly most at risk. |
| 685,000/1 Drowning in the Bath - A higher percentage of people drown in their bath water than in public swimming pools, with young children and the elderly most at
risk. Around 25 babies drown in baths every year. |
| 500,000/1 Being Killed in a Train Crash - Despite a number of fatal crashes, public transport is still the safest way to travel. Buses are even safer than trains, with
the odds of being killed 13 million to one. |
| 43,500/1 Being Killed in an Accident at Work - More accidents happen at work than anywhere else. Every year there are more than 25,000 serious workplace accidents,
killing around 300 people in the UK. |
| 8,000/1 Killed in a Road Accident - Every year 1,500 car drivers and adult passengers die in road smashes, while around 1,000 pedestrians and cyclists die in road
accidents. Worldwide, over 3,000 people are killed in road crashes daily. |
| 5/1 Dying from Cancer - Around 130,000 people die from cancer every \ year, of whom 65,000 are ' aged under 75. The most common killers are lung, breast, colon and prostate cancer. |
| 2.5/1 Dying from a Heart Attack or Stroke - The leading cause of death in Britain, coronary heart disease and strokes account for over 200,000 deaths every I
year. Someone has a heart attack every two minutes. |
Source: mirror.co.uk 1 August 2006
Expiration
Archie A Arnold
18 October 1920 - 24 April 1982
Scippio Cemetery. Harlan, Indiana
When the city of Hicksville, Ohio, removed all its parking meters and sold them off, Archie Arnold, a local practical joker, bought two of them and took them to a funeral parlour to
hold until his death; they are set on "Expired").
Source: undergroundhumor.com The Last Laugh: A Book of Graveyard Humour
Source: ahajokes.com
Cards from Heaven Have Dead Man Talking
Ashland, Oregon - Even in death, Chet Fitch is a card. Fitch, known for his sense of humour, died in October at age 88 but gave his friends and family a start recently: Christmas
cards, 34 of them, began arriving - written in his hand with a return address of "Heaven." The greeting read: "I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first
he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, 'Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don't tarry there.' Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.
"Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I'll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing
you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch"
A friend for nearly 25 years, Debbie Hansen Bernard said, "All I could think was, 'You little stinker.' It was amazing. Just so Chet, always wanting to get the last laugh."
The mailing was a joke Fitch worked on for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, 57. She told the Ashland Daily Tidings this week that he kept updating the mailing list
and giving her extra money when postal rates went up. This fall, she said, Fitch looked up to her from the chair. "You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards," he
told her. "I think you'll probably be able to mail them this year."
He died a week later.
Source: news.yahoo.com 25 December 2007
For articles related to ageing, including feats that can be accomplished, and a non-spiritual look at what happens after death - funerals, jerky, popsicles, fertiliser, ashes, orbit or dust - click the
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