This Doesn't Fly
At Least It Wasn't Red Meat
Take out the fortune BEFORE you eat the cookie.
- from "Things It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"
Source: The Web
I hope no ethnic group is offended by this. I thought it was funny because, as a vegetarian, I'd feel put off if the fortune said it was chicken.
Speaking of fortune cookies: in the "Letters to the Times" section of the 8 November Los Angeles Times I read the following five fortunes sent in by readers as favourite fortunes they had received in cookies:
The last fortune was received by someone (Russell Clampitt of Long Beach, California) who, in fact, was an attorney. He said it was oddly reassuring to have his choice of a profession validated by a cookie.
In just one year, hens in America lay enough eggs to encircle the globe 100 times.
Chick Destruction Brings Complaints
Complaints about the slaughter of 5,000 day-old chicks in a shredding machine in Taranaki are being investigated by the Agriculture and Forestry Ministry. But Tegel Poultry said the birds, bred to lay eggs, were killed by "instant maceration fragmentation", an internationally accepted method of destruction of unwanted males.
The SPCA received calls from distressed people reporting the killing of the birds in an "illegal machine". Tegel spokesman Bill Williams said the destruction of the day-old chicks had obviously upset the staff. It was the first time it had been done in Taranaki.
"To the uninitiated you can totally appreciate why people might be concerned about that. It's understandable because this is a machine that rapidly disintegrates the chicken, so you couldn't describe it as pleasant. But the scientists and the welfarists have thought about the problem as to how you dispose of significant numbers of chickens quickly and humanely."
Source: The Dominion Wednesday 4 April 2001
On an average day, the US egg industry discards 550,000 live male chicks. One wonders what is done with them and hopes the protein is put to good use...
When I was a child growing up in Dallas, Texas, I remember at the State Fair each year you could throw coins into glass dishes to win baby chicks and ducklings. Heartbreak: my parents would never let me participate. The first year I went to the Fair without them, I spent all my money trying (and succeeding!) to win a baby bird. I would've preferred a duckling (I thought it could live in our bathtub between baths) but my coin landed in a white glass dish, not a green one, so I won a baby chick instead. The chick soon grew into a rooster who sometimes pecked my parents' visitors on their ankles and thus he ended up in the stewpot.
I wished fervently at the time that I had been lucky enough to get a female chick so it would've been nicer and could've laid eggs for our family's breakfast. But none of the chicks to be won were female - I see that only now. I guess this was the 1950s answer to an "instant maceration fragmentation machine."
Hairless Joe Chicken
Source: newscientist.com 2 May 2002
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